In Loving Memory of Bhavana Patel

I was not sure what to write when I was asked to do this.

So I thought I would write some random thoughts as I sit on a warm summers day enjoying a nice Shiraz. Just my thoughts.

I will first say a few words about my lovely late wife, Bhavana.

Born in Kenya in 1958 of parents from Gujarat, lived in Kenya until the age of 11. Spent a brief time in India, came to London soon and lived here until she passed away in 2020, aged 62.

We married in 1983 and have two boys, Hiren and Jiten. Both are now married and still live in London. She was an easy going lively woman with an outlook to life that was refreshingly simple. She loved her children and home and her families, and her many friends. She will be forever remembered for her genuine warm smiles and her charm. Bhavana could literally walk into any room or place and make friends within seconds.

She had a zest for life and sometimes, the fancy things too. I had ideas of fast cars, holiday homes in Spain and Italy and all the good things that come with success. But she kept me grounded. Bhavana would always remind me that success also brought responsibilities, and an important one was to help and support others who did not have much. She highlighted that every little bit, no matter how small, would help make a difference, and she is solely responsible for what I am attempting to achieve now.

Life brings to some of us opportunities if we are lucky. Some opportunities have been given to us, some we have toiled and sweated and worked for, some we might have deserved, and some we perhaps didn’t, some we truly appreciate and maybe a few we don’t even think about. To some, these opportunities do not come their way.

So here I am now, sitting here in comfortable surroundings. Looking forwards to a lovely evening with my closest friends. It is a privilege to share what we have with them and be able to laugh together in these happy days, and to be grateful for having friends who understand when we are challenged. For they can offer an ear and a shoulder. And just be there. And those who can be at the end of our smart phones. Androids if possible.

Not to mention the warm bhajias and pakoras, sausage rolls, pizza’s, jerk chicken, fine cheese and chocolates, a nice glass of wine and a whisky too. Holidays, a warm jumper and shelter from the rain and wind and cold, soft shoes and a warm chai in the sitting room.

All these things are precious. But there’s even more priceless things. Our grandchildren. The look in their eyes when they see their Dadaji’s and Ba’s and Aji’s. The cuddles and kisses and the warmth and comfort of their love and the safety they expect and receive. And see in their eyes their hopes and dreams. I am thankful for being able to see and hear and feel all these things, almost all every day, and to cherish these moments and memories and experiences.

We live our lives, go through the motions, struggle in our thoughts, have times of extreme joy and happiness and occasionally a down day. And days when you wish for the earth to open up and swallow you so the pain would go away. I have been there too.

But I won’t make this about me. It’s about all of us. As we live through all these wonderful experiences, then what might we see and feel if we stood in some else’s shoes for a day. Or a lifetime, or even two? For there are many amongst us, mostly unseen and unheard, and whose dreams wouldn’t dare include any these things. Not even one. What did we do to deserve all these things? Fate? Chance? Who knows?

And what are we if we look away, pretend they are not amongst us? Let’s not look the other way. Let’s spare a thought for all those who wish, no, for those who dream, that they could feel and experience what we have. Not for a few days or months. Never mind a lifetime. But God willing, just for a fleeting moment. Let’s give them the opportunity and allow them to be achieve, and stand up tall, and be seen and be counted. I commend Rajeshbhai, Jayeshbhai and Prashantbhai and their teams whose hard work and dedication help make these dreams a reality.

I would like the children whose lives will be transformed to know of Bhavana, and remember what she instilled in me and our children, the path she pointed me towards and what she stood for. Let’s then all try hard to follow in her ideals so that one day, we can help others as much as it is possible to do.

Bless us all.